The Good, the Bad, and the Stinky

Oh, boy. It had to come up sometime, didn’t it?

adult_brown_marmorated_stink_bug_rutgers_university

I.

FLIPPING.

HATE.

THESE.

THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what they are. Stinkbugs. Brown marmorated stinkbugs, to be exact. I Googled it. Native to China, Japan, and Taiwan. A few years ago, they were — ahem — accidentally brought over to the U.S. (I say “accidentally” because I’m pretty sure it was really the fault of some terrorist group.)

And now . . . they’re EVERYWHERE.

You may wonder what the big deal is. If so, you’ve never experienced having them in your house. They’re called stinkbugs for a reason. If you squish them, you’ll wish you lived in a sewer, because it would smell much better by comparison.

. . .

Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration. BUT STILL!

And forget how smelly they are — LOOK AT THEM! *points back up to picture* They’re bugs, so of course they’re going to look a little gross, but these . . . these things are little demons. Yes. They’re the SPAWN OF SATAN, I TELL YOU! (And they’re probably allied with the squirrels, too.)

I’m calling it now: the deepest pit of hell is not actually a frozen lake, as Dante would have us believe. No. No, it’s something much worse. The deepest pit of hell is an endless lake of stinkbugs that you are forced to swim in.

Naked.

You swim in them, you bathe in them . . . heck, you’ll probably be forced to eat them. I’m getting the heebie-jeebies just typing about it!

Stink-Bug-Army

WAT

Sounds horrible, doesn’t it? I mean, they’re bad enough here on earth. I had one drop from the ceiling onto my leg once, and ever since I’ve had to put a napkin over my drink for fear of stinkbugs dropping into it. I found one crawling on my bed once, and ever since I’ve had to check my bed every. Single. Night.

AND THEY JUST KEEP COMING!!!!!!! Forget about the zombie apocalypse, people — you should be preparing for the STINKBUG APOCALYPSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, there's even a logo for it already!

Look, there’s even a logo for it already!

*deep breath*

BUT! There is hope! I found a really cool website dedicated to equipping innocent civilians against the inevitable war looming ahead of us. Check it out. Arm yourself. And like this Facebook page, too!

Only YOU can stop the menace. Only YOU can rid the world of this devil spawn.

Only you.

Now . . . excuse me while I go hide in my secret bunker. Good luck, soldier!

And see you all next week if I’m still alive!

*runs off*

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“Cinderella” – A Film Review

***WARNING: MILD SPOILERS AHEAD***

I’ll be perfectly honest here — when I first heard that Disney was making a live action version of Cinderella, I kind of just scoffed and rolled my eyes. My thoughts went something like this:

Disney’s original Cinderella wasn’t even that good! And now they’re just going to do the same thing with real actors? How redundant. I guess Hollywood really is running out of ideas.

Well . . . color me pleasantly surprised. Because I saw it last night and found it a well-made, beautiful film.

Cinderella-Widescreen-Wallpaper-cinderella-2015-37820077-1920-1200

What was so great about it? It’s a simple fairy tale about a girl falling in love with a prince at a ball, after all. Why did I enjoy it so much?

Well, for a few reasons. The main thing is that the story is refreshingly simple and untainted, but at the same time it has more depth and detail than the original Disney animated film. For instance, we see the story of how Cinderella loses her mother and later her father in a more intimate way, rather than through a narrated opening. Because we actually see Cinderella growing up with her loving parents, we are better able to get to know her as a character.

In a similar way, the prince actually has a personality this time around, and we also get to see a more in-depth look at his relationship to his father. And that’s another plus: instead of shrugging the father off as an imposing or foolish figure, the movie paints him as strict but also a caring father, and his son clearly cares for him as well.

fnd_mc_cinderella

The film also has great production values overall. The costumes and sets are exquisite, and the cinematography is wonderful, particularly in the scene where Cinderella first dances with the prince. (There’s also one shot in particular as Cinderella is fleeing from the ball that I thought was really cool — I don’t want to give it away here, but trust me, you’ll know it when you see it!)

I also thought the casting was very well-done. Lily James is delightful in the title role, and Richard Madden plays a charming and gentlemanly prince. Also of note are Cate Blanchett as the stepmother Lady Tremaine and Helena Bonham-Carter as the Fairy Godmother. Really, though, the entire cast was great and very enjoyable to watch!

My one complaint with the movie is that there is some glaringly obvious (and bad) CGI in a few places. This is to be expected in movies in general these days, but really, it needs to stop. Please. (I mean, seriously, Hollywood! How can it be that the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park — a movie more than twenty years old — look better than most CGI effects in movies today? But I digress.)

I’m trying not to give too much away here, so I think I’ll wrap this up. All in all, Cinderella is an enchanting and beautifully made film that is definitely worth seeing. It’s the best version of the story I’ve seen and I expect it’ll be a family staple for years to come. You done good, Kenneth Branagh. You done good.

My final verdict? In the immortal words of Brian Regan: “Four stars. Two enthusiastic thumbs up.”

Go see it! And once you do (or if you already have), what did you think of it? Drop a comment!

See y’all next week!

The Perfect Ending

Have you ever watched a movie that you never wanted to end? But then, once it ended, you thought:

That ending was perfect.

grumpycatyes

It doesn’t matter if the movie was incredibly sad or just plain silly. Sometimes a movie just nails an ending so well that you can’t help but cheer (or cry or whatever).

Take, for example, the ending of Wreck-It-Ralph.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSylJkV-4yg

I’m referring mainly to the part at 2:33 and on, but the whole last few minutes just wraps the whole movie up so wonderfully that I can’t help but smile, every time. (And the final line in particular is just . . . gah. ^____^)

I’m kind of short on time, so I’ll give just one more example: the ending of The Fellowship of the Ring.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GA5AtPl5EY

A lot has happened leading up to this point: Boromir has died, Merry and Pippin have been kidnapped, and Frodo and Sam are leaving for Mordor on their own. All seems hopeless. And then this happens, wrapping up with Frodo’s simple line of “Sam . . . I’m glad you’re with me.” It’s just perfect. I can’t explain why. So just watch it. :P

What are some movie endings that you thought really hit the nail on the head? Sound off in the comments, and I’ll see you next week!

Just This Once?

So . . . I don’t know what to write about today.

So . . . if you don’t mind too much, I’m not going to write anything. Except for this, of course.

I do hope you don’t mind too much. But on the other hand . . .

giveabother

After all, better to not write anything than to write something half-baked, am I right?

Then again . . . this is kind of something half-baked . . .

Oh, never mind. I’ll be back next week with something more substantial!